A hurricane? That’s nothing. Once I drove through the desert at high speed in the dark with the lights off so that my passenger wouldn’t see how dangerous the road was and it would be over as fast as possible
The desert in the dark? That’s nothing. I once drove straight down Olympus Mons backwards at 600 MPH in a rocket car with my hands tied behind my back while re-painting a perfect replica of the Mona Lisa with a brush in my teeth.
Olympus Mons, backwards, rocket car, that’s nothing. I once skydived naked into a blast furnace on the event horizon of a blck hole, while detailing the east pediment of the elgin marbles, using a tiny chisle glued to one of my eyelashes.
[...] apropos for med school; I know about a dozen toppers in my class alone- (check some out at: http://www.jeremyperson.com/dilberts-the-topper/), surfed through the best of hyperbole and a half blog posts, enjoyed a myriad of random savage [...]
That’s nothing; when I was advising god on the creation of the Universe I told him to create all of you Toppers (don’t all thank me at once). You provide normal people with an object of ridicule to vent their spleen on and thus contributes to a stable society. Despite the way you turned out I’m still glad I indirectly created you.